Adam V's questionnaire

I wasn't called out for this one or anything, but these are sometimes fun so I took it upon myself to fill it out. Enjoy!

1. Elaborate on your default icon.
My avatar in Blogger is a recurring character from the short films of Don Hertzfeldt. My favorite use of the little cloud guy is in his Oscar™ nominated film REJECTED, in which his pleas of “my anus is bleeding!” fell on deaf ears. My AOL Instant Messenger avatar is Lee Marvin because, well, I like Lee Marvin.

2. What's your current relationship status?
Single.

3. Ever have a near-death experience?
Closest I came was when I was eight and I fell off my bike in front of a driveway just as a truck was backing out. Luckily I was shrimpy and none of the tires touched me, but hoo boy was I scared.

4. Name an obvious quality you have?
Punctuality, although some of the people I work with might offer up gentlemanly conduct.

5. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
For most of the day it’s been alternating between “Phantom’s Theme” from PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE and Harry Nilsson’s “Moonbeam Song.” At this present moment it’s Nilsson.

6. Any celeb you would marry?
This is a tricky one- it’d be much easier if you ask me which ones I’d sleep with. But I’d have to know someone to marry her, and since I don’t know any celebs, I couldn’t offer up any names to answer this question.

7. Who will cut and paste this first?
Dunno. Maybe Jason.

8. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
Christina Ricci was born on February 12, 1980, two years after I was. Others who share my birthday include geek-fave filmmaker Darren Aronofsky (1969), MY 20TH CENTURY hottie Dorota Segda (1966), Christopher Guest stalwart John Michael Higgins (1963), fist-pumping talk-shot host Arsenio Hall (1955), wuss-rock favorite/object of ribbing in THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN Michael McDonald (1952), B-movie vet Michael Ironside (1950), Doors keyboardist Ray Manzarek (1939), Celtics legend Bill Russell (1934), politically-oriented director Constantin Costa-Gavras (1933), quiz-show scandal centerpiece Charles Van Doren (1926), stodgy-ass Italian director Franco Zeffirelli (1923), EARTHQUAKE’s Lorne Greene (1915), five-star general Omar Bradley (1893), and ballet legend Anna Pavlova (1881). And oh yeah, some bearded dude named Lincoln (1809). Aren’t you glad you asked?

9. Do you have a crush on someone?
Yup.

10. Have you ever vandalized someone's private property?
I toilet-papered a few houses in high school, but that’s about it.

11. Have you ever been in a fight?
Sure, although not in a long time.

12. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Yes- between high school choir, stage performances, and the Ohio State University Men’s Glee Club, I’d say I’ve done more than most people.

13. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Adam’s answer works for me- depends on which side I see first. Although I'm partial to a girl with nice-looking hair, which can be seen from pretty much any side.

14. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
I don’t generally go to Starbucks, having sworn off caffeine years ago.

15. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
While some might say that nothing we do is accidental, I’ve never made a conscious effort to cause myself pain.

16. Say something totally random about yourself.
Whenever I am served Jell-O, I prefer to eat it by slurping it through a straw. Note: this is actually not a random answer to this question, but rather my stock answer when I am asked to supply a random fact about myself. I actually met one of my ex-girlfriends this way, since it turns out she did the same thing. Wonder what happened to her…

17. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Back in high school I jokingly placed one of those cardboard Burger King crowns upside down on my head, and when I did this someone said I looked like John Cleese playing Lancelot in HOLY GRAIL. Although nowadays of the Pythons I’d say I favor Terry Jones most.

18. Do you wear a watch?
Almost never- copious armhair makes it uncomfortable- and when I do it tends to be a pocket watch. Odd that I’m so punctual (See #4).

19. Do you have anything pierced?
Nope.

20. Do you have any tattoos?
Nope.

21. Do you like pain?
Based on #15, #19, and #20, obviously not.

22. Do you like to shop?
Depends on what I’m shopping for. I have little patience when shopping for clothing, but I can spend hours browsing records or DVDs.

23. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
The parking fee at the Statehouse garage after seeing CHINATOWN at the Ohio Theatre.

24. What was the last thing you paid for with a credit card?
Groceries. As I recall the last item scanned was a pork chop.

25. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
The guy who took my pizza order at Rotolo’s.

26. What is on your desktop background?
The French poster for LE DAHLIA NOIR.

27. What is the background on your cell phone?
What cell phone?

28. Do you like redheads?
Depends on the redhead. Bryce Dallas Howard? Hell yes. Donny Most? Not so much.

29. Do you know any twins?
I have a pair of identical twin cousins I see a few times a year. They’re two years old now.

30. Do you have any weird relatives?
Yes, but none who are too alarming.

31. What was the last movie you watched?
DOUBLE INDEMNITY. That movie is so awesome.

32. What was the last book you read?
Bresson’s NOTES ON CINEMATOGRAPHY. Currently working on Cormac McCarthy’s BLOOD MERIDIAN.

Lost in the Supermarket #1

- Fun with food-related grammar: the can for Dole Pineapple Chunks reads thusly-

Dole™
Pineapple Chunks
In Its Own Juice

Maybe my grammar isn't where it ought to be, since most of my writing lately is on a blog and all. But shouldn't it read "Pineapple Chunks in THEIR Own Juice?" The subject of the phrase, after all, is "Chunks," not "Pineapple," which merely describes what kind of chunks the can contains. It wasn't a deal-breaker for me or anything- Wong fan that I am, I bought the pineapple all the same- but it's one of those little annoyances we all encounter every once in a while. Can anyone else think of similar grocery store grammar flubs?

- Learn something new every day: In my quest to domesticate my life, I decided that it might be a good idea to put boxes of baking soda in my fridge and freezer, just like mom taught me long ago. I was planning to buy the regular boxes, but today I discovered that Arm & Hammer makes special boxes just for my specific purpose. I was taken back a bit when I noticed they cost a bit more, but as it turns out there's a reason- they put a thin piece of cloth inside the opening of the box to keep the baking soda from spilling out. OK, so they're not just ripping me off- that's a relief.

- It's not that obscure a reference, is it?: Healthy Choice frozen dinners were on sale today, so I picked up a few. As the girl at the checkout counter is scanning my items, she looks at the Healthy Choice stuff and idly asks, "you on a diet or something?"

A little rude, I thought, but I let it slide, and countered with, "no, just trying to get the frequent flyer miles."

The vacant look on her face said it all. Maybe I should have bought the pudding.

I bitch about asswipes #1

So the other day I'm driving home from work, craving Chipotle. As tends to be the case with most Chipotle joints I've encountered, the one near my house has a parking lot that's too small by half, so I have to circle around until someone deigns to leave, then quickly pull in behind them before someone beats me to it. Anyway, I find a spot without having to wait too long, but since I'm in a hurry I pull in crooked and turn off the car. As I get out of the car, the middle-aged dude driving the shiny BMW convertible parked next to my 12-year-old Accord leaves the restaurant and notices that I'm parked pretty closely to him. Rather than just letting it go and grumbling about it on the way home, he looks at me smugly and says, "think you could park any closer?"

Fucker.

Keeping my cool, I offer to re-park, but he just shakes his head at me, his face awash in a holier-than-thou sneer, climbs into his car (as I said, it's a convertible) and drives away. And off I go to get my long-awaited burrito.

I know I shouldn't dwell, but even now, I can't get this dude out of my mind. Seriously, was that shit really necessary. OK, I'm sorry, I parked my jalopy within the comfort zone of his shiny toy. But so what? It's not like he even needed to open the door, since the top was down. No, he just needed to feel superior, methinks. Would he have done the same to someone driving a comparably-priced car? I somehow doubt it.

I'm not blameless in the situation. I realize that I could have I could have parked more carefully and made his day smoother. But I don't make a habit of parking poorly- it's just one of those things everyone does on occasion, this cheesedick no doubt included. One day I'll be more careful when I park. But I bet he'll always be an asshole.

How much better can ya eat? (not a CHINATOWN post)

I thought it was a sick joke, this e-Mail I received today at work. You see, my current place of employment has connections with a few local concert venues, and employees can purchase advance tickets through work. This particular e-Mail announced the availability of Barbra Streisand tickets- not necessarily someone I'd see, but I imagine she would be fairly popular among some of my co-workers, many of whom are middle-aged or older.

Then I saw the prices.

The first price I saw was $152. I had to read it twice, but that was the price. As I continued reading, I expected prices to taper downward. Joke was on me, I guess... $252, $352, and $602 followed thereafter.

I wasn't sure how to react. Naturally, I wasn't personally affected by the exorbitant costs- I wasn't planning on going either way. Still, the excessiveness stirred me and confused my thoughts. Eventually, I tried to rationalize it by asking myself what cultural event I'd pay $602 to witness. It would have to be more than a simple concert, I reckon.

Perhaps a film? What filmgoing experience would warrant that price tag? How about the Museum of the Moving Image's screening of OUT 1 this fall? How much would it run me to get me to NYC to have my ass numbed and my mind blown by Rivette's 12-hour rarely-screened masterpiece? Well, last time I flew round-trip from Akron-Canton to LaGuardia for less roughly $170. So let's estimate $200. Add to that a hotel room- if I went with a friend, we could split the cost of a double, and if I did my research I could get away with spending $250 for two nights. Which leaves food, transportation, and of course the movie ticket. The ticket costs $10, and I'm sure I could manage the other two for between $100 and $150. And so, in total, that brings us in at a high estimate of $610. And while this isn't far off from the cost of a high-end Barbra ticket, consider that for my $610 I also get two air trips, two nights in a hotel, food and transportation along with my dozen hours of film. Whereas all Barbra's fans get is two hours or so of Barbra.

Which brings me back to the question posed in the title of this post. Barbra's making out like a bandit here. The concert's being held at the Schottenstein Center, which holds up to 21,000 people for concerts. Based on the listed ticket prices, I'd estimate an average of at least $250 per seat- which means a total of over $5 million. For one show. How much do you think Streisand sees? I'd guess a minimum of $2 million. And since she's doing 17 shows, that makes $34 million overall. Not too shabby, eh?

Now, I don't just blame Barbra Streisand that her tickets cost so damn much. I'm sure if she was putting on more than 17 shows they wouldn't cost so much, but there's more to this picture, I'd say. Simply put, tickets for Barbra Streisand wouldn't cost between $152 and $602 if someone in a position of power didn't think that people would pay those prices. And I have no doubt that Streisand has oodles of fans from all over who have loads of money and who would consider this a fair price to see her in concert. All I can say is, must be nice to have that kind of money. I guess I just feel sorry for her less affluent fans who would enjoy seeing her as much as their richer counterparts, but who won't be able to go because of price. I'm not sure how many people fall under that category, but there have to be some, right?

As for me, I'll be checking under my couch cushions for money, in case I actually decide to see OUT 1. Anybody interested in sharing a hotel room?

Well, I've gone and done it again...

Long ago, I had a web site. It was a crappy AOL site, but it was mine, more or less. One day, I decided to cancel my AOL service (a decision I don't regret for a second), so I abandoned the site and formed a new one which I continue to run to this day. But oh no, that wasn't enough for me. I had to get in on the blogging revolution, as it were. And so I formed one so I could post some informal thoughts on movies I'd seen, and later one for sporadic non-film thoughts. Alas, due to forces beyond my control, I abandoned the original film site and folded the mini-reviews in with the non-film blog. Not that I crave order or anything, but given that the occasional casual web surfer who might happen by my blog might not care through to sift through my aimless personal ruminations to get to my slightly-less-aimless film pieces (or vice versa), I resigned myself to the necessity of a second blog. And so, voila. I can't say how often I'll update this, but thanks for reading all the same.