My cat allergy notwithstanding...

I started this blog a month or so ago to serve as a more diary-like alternative to the comparatively journalistic pieces on my movie blog. However, as film plays such a key role in my life, the two are hardly mutually exclusive. So while the film reviews/remarks of the "XXX was awesome/sucky and why" variety will still be posted over there, occasionally a film will elicit a deeper personal reaction above and beyond an aesthetic one, and such reactions will be posted here. Such was the case with Chris Marker's THE CASE OF THE GRINNING CAT (2004). I think that we can by now accept that Marker's works will almost always be awesome, and this one certainly was. But I somehow doubt that most viewers' extra-filmic responses to this were as profound and striking as mine.

Full disclosure: I've dreamed of living in Paris ever since I was young. Ever since I got into art and music and I began taking French classes back in middle school, there has always been something inviting to me about Paris. It wasn't even the romanticized "City of Light" mystique sold to audiences by Hollywood. I've never really bought into all that- seemed too tourist-y for my tastes. No, what struck me was the city's richness of culture and history, both of which Paris wears proudly on its sleeve.

Not even a spring break trip in high school could dissuade me from my dreams, although it certainly tried. For my first couple of days in Paris, I was travel-sick, not least because of the physical adjustment to the unfamiliar time schedule. But once I stopped barfing, Paris was more attractive to me than ever. While many of my classmates rushed around from landmark to landmark trying to cram in as much sightseeing as possible, I took my time to explore the city itself- exploring the streets, walking through the parks, riding the Métro, drinking in the architecture. "All that other stuff could wait," I thought. "I'll see it next time."

What THE CASE OF THE GRINNING CAT made me realize above all was that what I find so alluring about Paris isn't simply the art and the culture, but the passion that the city represents. In Paris- or Marker's version anyway- political activism is as strong as ever. Too often in the USA political involvement means letters to the newspaper or a bumper sticker reading "F the President." But lest we forget that the root word for "activist" is "active." Marker shows us hundreds of people taking to the streets to demonstrate for causes that mean a great deal to them.

As so often happens, where activism goes, so follows art. It was around the time I fell in love with Paris that I also concluded that the sixties were infinitely more awesome than the eighties or nineties, and in retrospect I'm not sure that was a coincidence. So much of the cultural contributions I consider great from the late sixties sprang directly from the social and political unrest of the period. Art doesn't exist in a vacuum, after all. Given our current climate one might think such a countercultural quake might have happened again in this country, but thusfar it hasn't- certainly not to the extent it did back then.

However, this spirit seems to be alive and well in Paris, which seems now more than ever to be the place for one goes to live passionately. And passionate living has been in short supply in my life of late. Unlike the whiny-ass heroes of THE LAST KISS who yearn to escape from a future that's staring them in the face, I can't begin to guess how my future could possibly pan out. I'm guess that this is because I have so little going on in my life in the present- obviously, or else I've have more to post about here, right? Ever since I graduated from college (five years ago... yeesh) I've been in kind of a holding pattern, waiting for something to come along and change my life. Even theoretically this is a lousy strategy- see also: Newton's First Law of Motion. So maybe a drastic change in venue, and the infusion of passion it could bring, is exactly what I need in my life.

So what's holding me back? Not too much, to be honest- no significant other, no kids, no long-term career path to speak of. I do feel the need to stay close with my family, especially my grandparents (all are still alive, and the youngest of them is 87 years old). But beyond that, it's mostly the practical concerns that worry me. To begin with, I haven't taken a French class in a decade, so I'd really need to brush up in order to be comfortable enough to move to France. This wouldn't be too big a hurdle, since I could always take evening courses and my parents have always been willing to support my educational endeavors. The trickier part for me would be finding a source of income in Paris. Sure, I might get an initial rush from living in Paris, but once that begins to wear off I'll have to eat and pay the rent.

So I beseech you, my small but devoted readership. What do I do? How do get to where I want to be? Is there anyone out there who has any experience along these lines, or who could steer me toward someone who has? My fear is that by not pursuing these I'll end up living my same lifestyle indefinitely, and years down the line I'll be bitter and frustrated by having put off my dream for too long. Even if I go to Paris and end up hating it, at least I'll have made the effort, and that in itself could be valuable. And if I love it as much as I think I will, well, all the better.