Hard Lessons Learned, or: If I Knew Then What I Know Now is not just a Kenny Rogers song

It’s strange to think that ten years ago today, I was getting ready for final exams week of my first quarter of college. This isn’t something that would normally cross my mind, except that when I went home for Thanksgiving I got to talking to a few of my younger relatives who are in the middle of the college application process, and as the first on that side of the family to go away to school, I’ve become the go-to guy for college advice.

I find this a little strange considering that I didn’t do especially well at college (though they don’t know this), but at the same time I always oblige with little nuggets of advice. Most of the time I glaze over when people offer advice to me, but the tips I’m most likely to heed tend to be those from people who’ve come by their wisdom through hard experience. In other words, if someone has ridden a greased rail to success I have little use for what they have to say, but if you’ve learned your lessons the hard way, I’m all ears.

The advice I give to prospective collegians varies depending on who I’m talking to and how well I know my audience, but the primary ideas behind what I tell them remain mostly the same. In other words, here are 11 tips I wish someone would have given me before I went away to college.

1. College is not high school. I cannot stress this enough. Most of the other advice I give is some variation on this theme, but seeing as how it took me too long to realize this myself, I feel the need to impress this idea upon everyone who seeks advice from me. It’s especially important to remember that one’s workload as a college student will be drastically greater than it was in high school, so be ready to buckle down.

2. Don’t go to college until you’re ready. While the democratization of education is mostly a good thing, it’s as true now as it was fifty years ago- college is not for everyone. If you’re not sure whether college is for you, or if twelve years of state-sanctioned education have made you reluctant to go to college right away, take a little time off. Get a job and earn some money, or if you have the resources do some traveling. Or if you want to test the waters, take a few of your core requirements at a local branch campus or community college. Not only will you be able to see whether college is for you without leaving your comfort zone (and at a lower cost than taking the full plunge), but you’ll also be able to get some of your required classes out of the way if you do decide to pursue a college education.

3. Get off on the right foot. Once you’re at college, it’s important to set the tone for your college years early on. Buckle down during your first term to get the grades you want. One of the best ways to accomplish this goal is to not over-extend yourself right off the bat. Stick with basic freshman-level courses, and don’t overload your schedule. That way you can concentrate on finding your bearings, getting into good habits, and then putting forth the effort to achieve your academic goals for your first term. And once you’ve reached these goals, you’ll have an attainable standard to live up to during your subsequent college years. Oh, and don’t sweat if you don’t get straight A’s. Very few people are able to do this in college, so it’s better to stick to a somewhat more realistic goal (3.25 at the college level is nothing to sneeze at) and work on getting the most you can out of college.

4. Get into good study habits. Don’t study where you live. Whether you’re staying at your parents’ or you move out, home has too many distractions and routines for you to properly concentrate on your studies. Better to stake out a regular spot in a study area or within the bowels of the campus library in order to fully commit yourself to absorbing the material with a minimum of distractions. If you decide to join some study groups, that’s fine too, but make sure your fellow group members are there to study rather than socialize, because if they’re not serious about studying you’d be better off by yourself.

5. Attend classes regularly. Many instructors won’t take attendance after the first few sessions, but don’t fall into the trap of thinking that attendance isn’t important. On the contrary- despite the syllabus and the out-of-class assignments, most of what you will be expected to take away from a course will be found in the class sessions. Whoever it was that said that ninety percent of life is showing up must have been a college student. In addition, any changes that are made to the course will almost certainly be made in class, and those who don’t attend may not find out about the changes until it’s too late.

6. Get plenty of sleep. Maybe you won’t have time for nine hours a night, but you should nonetheless try to be well-rested for your classes. If you nod off or zone out during a class you might as well have stayed home, and if you can’t stay awake while you’re studying you’ll just fall behind. And as finals week approaches, sleep is especially important- it may sound like a good idea to stay up all night cramming for exams, but if you aren’t alert when you’re actually taking the exam, much of what you’ve absorbed at night will evaporate in the harsh light of day. You may have to make time for short power naps during the day, which is why you must learn to…

7. Schedule everything. If you set aside a particular time in your day for everything that needs done- class, studying, travel, eating, sleeping- you’ll quickly fall into a routine, and the longer you stick to a routine the easier it’ll become. Remember to set aside a lot of time for studying (the old standby of two hours studying for every hour in class still holds). When you’re scheduling study time, break it down into smaller (say, hour-long) blocks, separated by short breaks to break the monotony. These breaks may only be for as long as it takes to go to the restroom and get a drink of water, but they can make study time much more manageable.

8. Get to know your professors and instructors. During the first few days of class, you’ll just be a name on an attendance ledger for your professors, but there’s no reason why you shouldn’t allow them to connect your name with your face. So in the first week or so of classes, before you get too thick into the course work, drop in during their office hours to introduce yourself and get acquainted. Not only does this make you stick out in their minds, but it also makes it easier for you to draw upon them as educational resources both in the immediate future (contacting them outside of class about questions feels less out-of-turn if you’ve already introduced yourself) and the more distant future (say, recommendations for grad school).

9. Get involved. Studying is important in college, for obvious reasons, but extra-curricular activities make one’s college experience much more memorable. Many college campuses have activities and groups that are similar to the ones you were involved in in high school, so if you enjoyed participating at the high school level then give them a try at college as well. And there are plenty of new activities to try, so if you have the time, why not give them a shot?

10. Pick a major early. College can be kind of scary, especially when you have no idea what you want to study. If you’re attending a university where there are lots of major options, do some research before you start classes and select one that interests you. By choosing a major, you can make a big school less intimidating, and within your major of choice you’ll have a built-in support group. And if you find that the major doesn’t suit you, you can always switch. Remember, most students nowadays are taking five or more years to graduate from college, so don’t sweat if you don’t find the right major right away.

11. Be responsible for yourself. This brings us back to tip #1. Doing well in high school is largely a matter of being able to follow directions. If you do your homework, listen, and do what you’re told, you should do just fine. College is a different ballgame. If you want to succeed, you’re pretty much on your own. If you can’t motivate yourself, no one will do it for you; if you won’t put forth the effort, it’s no one’s loss but yours. It’s only by becoming self-reliant and responsible that you can truly prepare yourself for adulthood. Just remember that you’ll be able to draw upon others for assistance and advice along the way, and don’t worry if you don’t know all the answers- the ability to ask the right people the right questions is half the battle.

New friends

There are numerous reasons why I decided to get my own apartment rather than looking for a roommate. A lot of it has to do with asserting, in my mind anyway, my independence. In other words, at my age I think I'm a little too old to be sharing the rent with someone who isn't also sharing my bed. And since I'm single, that means living alone. Which I'm cool with. Frankly I can do without the hassle of getting my life tangled up with someone else with whom I'm not especially close.

All the same, it does get lonely sometimes. Coming home, nothing greeting me but the sound of the heater and a blinking answering machine (95% of the time it's telemarketers)- this is the flipside of the bachelor lifestyle. And while I have no problem with independence, it's nice to have some other life in the house.

So I went out this week and bought a guinea pig.

This wasn't exactly a rash decision. I had several guinea pigs in my youth and had enjoyed caring for them. They're easy to hold, fun to play with, and friendly. And I love the sounds they make- for my money, the cheerful squeak of a guinea pig is one of nature's most comforting sounds. I didn't even mind cleaning up after them- they're pretty low-maintenance compared to a lot of other animals. If I was going to have a pet, a guinea pig would be the obvious choice for me.

What they don't tell prospective guinea pig owners is that the other stuff- cage, bedding, food, etc.- costs a great deal more than the pig itself. Which I guess makes sense, but it came as a bit of a shock as I worked my way around the pet store. Not that I let this stop me- I wanted to get off on the right foot as a born-again guinea pig owner, and if a little sticker shock was what it took to point me in the right direction, so be it.

After some deliberation, I decided to name her Muriel. A tad unconventional for a guinea pig, perhaps, but then I've never really cared for cutesy animal names. I think that I would find it harder to really call an animal by his or her name were it something like Mittens or Muffin or what have you. Plus I've always liked the name Muriel, but it's not something I would really seriously consider naming a child since it doesn't mesh very well with my last name. But what really inspired the name was a personal assessment of favorite red-headed movie characters. Muriel is white with reddish-orange patches, so she's enough of a redhead for me. I briefly toyed with Victoria, after Moira Shearer's character in THE RED SHOES, but after thinking about TWO ENGLISH GIRLS I decided that Muriel was a much better name for my new friend. I ran the name past a few folks at work, and they agreed that it sounded good, so Muriel it is.

So how's it going so far? Pretty well. She's pretty young- maybe a couple of months old- and little bigger than a large hamster. Because of this, she scares fairly easily. I didn't take her out of the cage to hold her until a day or so after I had brought her home because I wanted to let her get used to her new surroundings first. She's pretty ravenous when it comes to lettuce, but she rarely even touches her pellet food, so I should work on being more judicious about when I give her her favorite treat. As one of my coworkers joked, if you were given the choice, wouldn't you eat dessert first?

I admit that I was a tad disappointed that she didn't squeak at all in the first few days since I brought her home, but she has started vocalizing more since I began taking her out of the cage and holding her more extensively. I like to think that the greater amount of contact has made her more comfortable in my presence. I hope she's not squeaking out of fear- the she doesn't fidget or try to escape when I'm holding her is a good sign, in my opinion. We'll see whether I can put her more at ease in the days to come.

Given (a) my lack of digital camera and (b) my difficulties in uploading pictures to my blog, I don't have any pics of Muriel to post for you. But when I do I'll try to post them here.