OK, just so you don't have to look at that horrible William and Mary post at the top anymore...

Over the past week I've come to the conclusion that I should look for a new job. This one just isn't cutting it. And it's not about the money. Check that- it's not JUST about the money. Getting paid more would be nice, especially so I don't have to blow my nest egg just to go to TIFF this year.

But more important than the simple fiscal consideration is my gradual realization that the banking industry really isn't for me. I'd had my doubts about this job before, but I was able to rationalize them away. But little stuff has really started to grate on me, and when that happens there's only a matter of time before it piles up and then spills out.

The weirdest conclusion I've come to lately is that I don't like banking's overreliance on numbers. This may sound like an odd objection, but hear me out. I don't mind math- in fact, I'm pretty good at it, if somewhat out of practice. But in banking, you work with two kinds of numbers. There's the kind that you use for their mathematical properties- to add, subtract, and the rest- and then there's the kind that is used just for identification purposes. And those I don't do so well with. When I look at something like 123456789, I immediately think one hundred twenty-three million four hundred fifty-six thousand seven hundred eighty-nine. But a lot of the time you can't do that. The kicker is that I probably work with more non-math-related numbers than I do with math-related ones.

Now, I don't confuse easily, but when someone asks me to do something and the key elements of the request are four or five series of numbers- say, "can you switch the thingy from 45798121 to 7965223 with an index of 518 and a reference of 86859?"- I usually have to ask him to repeat himself at least once. And quite frankly, having to do this regularly makes me feel kind of stupid. I don't like feeling stupid. Really, I'm sure nobody does, but being thought of as stupid is one of the things I fear most. So you can see why I might have some misgivings about this part of the job.

I think I'll call up my old temp agency- the one that got me this job- next week, to see if they can find me anything else. Hopefully something involving fewer numbers, or at least numbers I can add up if the urge hits me.